The One with the Vicodin
by miley-avril
Summary: set during "Last Resort".  What happens when House injects himself with the nerve medicine instead of Thirteen?  Kinda the start of Thouse romance, but not really sure yet.
1. The Injection

_THIS IS JUST A STORY I CAME UP WITH. PLEASE REVIEW __J_

_DON'T OWN IT. WOULD LOVE IT IF I DID._

_**Standing there, with Thirteen volunteering to take the painful medicine, it just didn't feel right, even to House. She already had nerve damage, and he didn't want her to die even faster. Truth was, she was a good doctor, and was fascinating. Of course, House wouldn't admit that. **_

"_**No. You're not going to take it." House said, drawing himself up to his full height.**_

"_**It makes sense. I'm dying, so what does it matter? Plus, I'm a doctor. It's our job to take care of them." Thirteen said, folding her arms. House resisted the urge to smirk. She wasn't intimidated. In a way, he was proud of her. No, get that thought out of your head, you idiot. Wait, did I just call myself an idiot?**_** House thought to himself.**

"**I'm your boss, and I'm saying your not taking it. I'm taking it." House said, preparing to inject himself.**

"**Like you're a better candidate than me for it!" Thirteen yelled.**

"**Yeah, but I'm the one with the vicodin." House replied, then injected the medicine, and popped a vicodin in his mouth. **

**I KNOW, SHORT, BUT COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND REVIEW, PLEASE? IF I GET ENOUGH, I MIGHT CONTINUE.**


	2. How Do You Make a Number Mad?

**SPECIAL THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! IT MEANS A LOT! IF YOU WANT ANOTHER CHAPTER (OR HATE IT/IN BETWEEN), PLEASE REVIEW! ****J **

**OH, AND ABOUT THE BOLD STUFF (I THINK IT WAS THIS STORY), SORRY, I'LL TRY TO FIX THAT AT SOME POINT.**

Everyone watched as House sat down in the chair, looking as though he didn't really care that the pain was going to come.

"You _idiot_!" Thirteen yelled.

"That's my line." House grunted as the pain washed over him.

"Yeah, well, you clearly don't use it on yourself as often as you should." Thirteen said, itching to do some "doctory stuff". Of course, there was nothing she could do for him.

"And yet you don't call yourself an idiot. You're the one with nerve damage." House retorted.

"_Impending_ nerve damage." Thirteen corrected angrily.

"Blah, blah, same thing." House said, waving his hand around, the doubled over in the chair he was sitting in as another wave of pain came.

"Yeah, and when's the vicodin gonna kick in?" Thirteen spat. Right now, she could care less if House had been cut on his already damaged leg. She was just _angry_.

"Well, I was hoping soon…" House said with fake happiness.

"Stop being sarcastic and be serious for once. You're already in enough pain with your leg, so now you'll completely O.D. on vicodin because of _this_." Thirteen said.

"So it makes sense that a _girl_ should take this?" House said with a smirk. He knew exactly how to get Thirteen riled up.

"Oh, don't go there." Thirteen said. She couldn't believe that even in a hostage situation, House just _had_ to make a sexist or racist comment.

"What else do we have to talk about?" House shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know, uh, _diagnosing the guy with the gun_!" Thirteen suggested, well, yelled.

"That's brilliant! Oh wait, I can't until _my_ team calls with the lab results, and I don't have a lab down here. So, we have to wait." House said sarcastically.

"That doesn't mean we can't be thinking." Thirteen said.

"Sure it does." House said.

"House, I swear…" Thirteen said, not needing to finish the sentence for House to get the message.

"So, let's debate. Or whatever. Crazy Guy with a Gun- why did you shoot a guy?" House asked.

"I don't know." The hostage taker replied.

"Must've been cause he didn't want to hurt a girl." House said.

"Or maybe because there's a pregnant _woman_, and the other one's sick." Thirteen said.

"Then there's you." House suggested happily.

"I'm a doctor. Like you said, he wouldn't shoot the doctor that's diagnosing him." Thirteen said.

"You're not diagnosing him. You're _helping_ me come up with ideas so I can come up with the diagnosis." House explained.

"Right, because since I'm a woman, I can't be a competent doctor." Thirteen said sarcastically.

"See, you're catching on." House said.

"Whatever you wanna believe." Thirteen muttered under her breath.

**SO, PLEASE REVIEW! AND GIVE ME IDEAS, PLEASE. THANKS! J**


	3. Not Yet

_**SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING… PLEASE REVIEW! **__**J**_

_**DON'T OWN IT.**_

_House and Thirteen sat like that for some time. She didn't feel like arguing, and House knew that if she didn't feel like it, then she wouldn't, and it wouldn't be much fun. Luckily, the pain from the injection was beginning to die down. Just then, the phone rang._

"_Hello, my short little duckling!" House greeted cheerfully. Thirteen rolled her eyes._

"_All the tests came back negative. We have nothing." Taub said through the phone._

"_Then go find something." House said, then hung up._

"_Do you know what's wrong with me?" Crazy Guy with the Gun asked._

"_Not yet." House replied._

_**I KNOW IT'S SHORT, BUT I NEED TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED STILL BEFORE I PUT TOO MUCH WORK INTO IT. LET ME KNOW, PLEASE! J**_


	4. Age

_**SORRY FOR MY LACK OF UPDATING… THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO BLAB ABOUT FOR NOW. PLEASE REVIEW **__**J**_

_**DON'T OWN IT (WHY WOULD I BE WRITING FANFICTION IF I DID?)**_

_They all sat in the same position, no one daring to move in fear of being shot._

"_I've been shot before." House said to break the silence._

"_Are you volunteering to be shot again?" Thirteen asked sarcastically._

"_Not at all. Just saying." House replied, glad that his favorite person to banter with was back to Earth._

"_Well, you don't usually want to say those things when there's actually_ a guy with a gun threatening to shoot you." Thirteen responded.

"Like I said, he won't shoot the guy diagnosing him." House said irritably.

"Not if he has psychosis." Thirteen whispered.

"She thinks you're psychotic." House said, pointing his finger at Thirteen childishly.

"House." They all heard the unmistakable voice of Lisa Cuddy over the speaker on the phone.

"What?" He snapped.

"Don't irritate him. It's not only your life at stake." Cuddy reminded him.

"_Mommy_, I'm a big boy now." House whined.

"Can you act like the 35 year old you are for once?" Cuddy asked, getting irritated.

"But why?" House asked, still acting like a five year old.

"Because you're in the middle of a hostage situation." Cuddy responded.

"I can tell. There's a gun pointed at my head." House said. It took all of Cuddy's strength not to gasp. She didn't want him to die, no matter how much most of the hospital thought they hated each other (though it was no secret that the same people who said they hated each other also thought they loved each other. It was one of the hospital's many running jokes).

"Dr. Hadley, keep an eye on him." Cuddy said, then hung up.

"Which one of you is Dr. Hadley?" House asked.

"Me." Thirteen responded, rolling her eyes.

"Oh." House said.

**PLEASE REVIEW J**


	5. The Metaphoric Language

**HERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER! FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED. ****J**

**DON'T OWN HOUSE.**

Thirteen rolled her eyes at House.

"What?" He asked.

"You're either pretending to be stupid or you really are an idiot. Although, it would explain why you call everyone else idiots." Thirteen said.

"I'm not following your non-metaphor metaphor." House quipped.

"We're the only two doctors in the room, House, and you ask _which one of you is Dr. Hadley_. That's hardly something a smart person would do." Thirteen explained.

"I only speak the metaphoric language." House said.

"Stop playing dumb. We need to diagnose him." Thirteen said.

"Why do you have to be so serious? You're acting like Cuddy." House pouted.

"That would be because she told me to baby-sit you." Thirteen explained, pretending that she was speaking to a five-year-old.

"Cameron was serious, too. Girls are no fun except for-" House started, but Cuddy cut him off.

"House, believe it or not, the patients might be offended. They're not used to your twisted sense of humor."

"Seriously twisted." Thirteen mumbled.

"Hey! I heard that!" House said, pointing at Thirteen again.

"How's the diagnosis going?" Cuddy said to change the subject.

"My team can't think of anything." House complained.

"Then start thinking." Cuddy suggested, then hung up.

"I actually have to do something, don't I?" House asked, suddenly serious.

"Unless you want us all to die, yes." Thirteen replied.

**CAN YOU GUYS GIVE ME SOME IDEAS PLEASE? I'M KINDA STUCK. THANKS! J**


	6. Change

**I'M BASICALLY GOING TO SKIP TO THE END OF THE EPISODE, BECAUSE THE REST OF IT WAS KIND OF BORING. **

Thirteen hadn't left his side since the explosion. She kept telling herself it was because she felt guilty, not because she liked him. House started to open his eyes.

"You're going to be ok. A week of temporary dialysis and you'll be fine." Thirteen smiled, amazed it wasn't more because of his vicodin abuse.

"Great." House said sarcastically.

"That was kind of almost, you know, funny, how he kept getting the wrong diagnosis because he didn't know Florida was in the tropics." Thirteen said.

"Not really. People almost died. _You_ almost died." House said.

"Sorry if that upset you. That's just usually your kind of humor, so I thought…" Thirteen stuttered.

"It's ok." House said.

XXXXXXXX

A WEEK LATER

House was sitting in the empty differential room. It was 7 at night, and nobody should've been there. He was twirling his cane as usual.

"Oh, hi." Thirteen said, walking in. "I forgot my bag." She said, smiling. "Kind of stupid, right?"

"No. People forget things." House said.

"Um, ok. Have a good night." Thirteen said, not used to his caring, affectionateness.

"Hey, Thirteen, wanna grab a burger or something?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure." She said, stopping at the door.

The drive was pretty silent, and somehow, they ended up at Burger King. House bought their burgers while Thirteen found a table. She ended up choosing one in the corner, away from everyone else, with just two seats.

"Thanks." She smiled as House gave handed her burger to her.

"No problem." He said, sitting across from her.

"You know, you're not that bad. Cuddy always complains, but you aren't that annoying. I mean, you can be extremely annoying, but you're immature. For all she knows, you could have a brain injury that causes it." Thirteen said.

"Yeah, well, I really am a pain to her. I go out of my way to annoy her." House said.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Thirteen asked.

"I don't want you to end up like me." House said after a moment.

"I'm not following."

"Let me just say this: I'm miserable. I know your life is as bad as mine. My leg is useless and painful, you're dying. You're miserable. But you don't have to be alone, like me. Foreman cares about you, Chase as a friend. You shouldn't push them away. I know you do so you don't hurt them. But you're hurting them by not letting them help." House explained.

"Cuddy cares about you. Instead you decide to annoy the crap out of her." Thirteen said.

"I know. But you can reverse it. I didn't have anyone to tell me better when I was your age. I wish I did." House said.

"You can change _now_." Thirteen said.

"I will if you will." House said.

"Fine." Thirteen sighed.


	7. The Difference

**LET ME JUST SAY I GOT BASHED FOR LAST CHAPTER. IF I CONFUSED ANYONE, I DIDN'T MEAN TO. I SKIPPED TO THE END OF THE EPISODE, WHERE THIRTEEN WAS IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM, BECAUSE THE REST OF THE EPISODE WAS BORING. THEN I ADDED MY OWN STUFF IN, CAUSE I'M NOT FOLLOWING THE EPISODE POINT FOR POINT.**

**DON'T OWN IT.**

"Let's start tonight." House said.

"What?"

"Come over my house." House elaborated.

"Ok. We probably shouldn't tell anyone about our little two-person therapy group. It might freak them out." Thirteen said.

"Agreed." House said.

Once at House's house, he showed her to his spare room.

"Thanks." She said.

"I'm gonna get an alcoholic beverage, would you like one?"

"Sure." It was funny how well they both knew each other, mirrored the other's thoughts. Thirteen walked back out into the living room.

"I didn't know you were into music." Thirteen observed.

"Have a talent for it." House shrugged.

"Piano, guitar, harmonica, drums… House, this is amazing." Thirteen gushed, looking around.

"I don't think I've ever seen so much amazement on your face before." House commented dryly.

"I'm giving you compliments, be nice." She said.

"Do you still play?"

"Yeah. Do you play anything?" House asked.

"God no. My parents used to say I'm tone-deaf. Although, I was ok at the drums. I just made sure I hit when they said to." Thirteen laughed.

"You can't be _that_ bad."

"I really can." Thirteen said, still smiling.

"You feel at ease with me, in this environment." House observed.

"What?"

"You're laughing, talking about yourself a little. Compare that to at the hospital, and I'd say you're actually _enjoying_ this." House said.

"We're changing, aren't we? For all you know, I could be fun and loveable." Thirteen said.

"Maybe you're fun in bed. Actually, I'd bet a million dollars you are. Loveable? Not so much." House said.

"Yeah, you're right, I'm not that lovable." Thirteen frowned, taking a sip of her beer.

"You want to be lovable?"

"I just think it would be nice for people to not think I'm cold-hearted and don't have a life." Thirteen said.

"Well, you don't have a life." House pointed out. "You're not cold-hearted." He said after a moment.

"You really believe that?" Thirteen asked, hope glimmering in her eyes.

"There's a difference between just not caring and pretending to not care." House answered.

"You know, for someone so immature, you really do know what to say." Thirteen said.


	8. No

**SORRY IT'S TAKEN ME SO LONG TO UPDATE. LIFE HAS BEEN REALLY CRAZY. I APPRECIATE EACH AND EVERY REVIEW! JUST AN FYI, THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER. I JUST REALLY THINK THIS STORY HAS BURNED OUT. A SPECIAL THANK YOU GOES OUT TO EVERYONE WHO'S READ, AND A SUPER SPECIAL ONE TO MY FAITHFUL REVIEWERS. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING, I LOVE YOU!**

**DON'T OWN IT.**

House didn't even bother knocking, he just let himself into her apartment.

"Uh…" Thirteen looked up from her computer.

"We're not doing this." He declared.

"What are you doing here?"

"To tell you we're not doing this." House repeated.

"Um… okay?" She was still confused.

"You really have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" House rolled his eyes and limped over.

"I'm still getting over the shock that you burst into my apartment." Thirteen replied.

"You should expect that sort of thing from me."

"Point taken. So, what aren't we doing?" She now gave House her undivided attention. This seemed to calm him some. She noticed. "God, you're such a child, House. You can't stand not being the center of attention for one minute."

"We're not changing." He ignored her comment.

"I thought you wanted to."

"I did. Now I don't. Let's face it. We are who we are. Changing us would change everything. The team would be screwed up."

"Thank _God_, I've been waiting for you to say that." Thirteen visibly relaxed.

"Wait, didn't you want to, too?" Now it was House's turn to be confused. A small smile played on her lips.

"No."

"It was a bet." House was hit with realization. "How much did you win?"

"100 bucks from each person." Her smile turned into a smirk.

"How many people?" He swallowed. Winning bets was _his_ thing. He didn't like where this was going.

"5."

"You won 500 dollars over _me_!"

"Well, if it makes you feel better, if I lost, I would've owed 500 dollars." She shrugged.

"That's not fair. Give me 20 percent." House demanded.

"No! It's your fault for not figuring it out."

"Thirteen, I'm telling you right now…" He didn't finish his sentence. He didn't have to.

"House, I can out run you. And I'm pretty sure I can take you. I wouldn't be making threats if I was you."

"Oh, shut up." House pouted.

"You're pouting!" She practically squealed.

"Did you just squeal?" This lightened his mood.

"No." She replied.

"You did! Ha!"

"I can't believe you're so immature you're happy over this." She shook her head in amusement.

"What can I say, I'm like a 5 year old." House shrugged.

"That you are." Thirteen came back with two opened beers, and handed one to House. "To not changing." She toasted.

"To not changing." House repeated.

**I DO FEEL AS THOUGH THE ENDING WAS A LITTLE CHEESEY, BUT I'M HAPPY WITH IT. OVERALL, I THINK THIS IS A PRETTY GOOD STORY. THIS WAS ONE OF MY EARLY ONES, SO IT'S NOT AS GOOD AS MY LATER ONES, BUT I'M STILL HAPPY WITH IT.**


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